Tech Support Humor

June 18, 2007

Verizon tech support

Filed under: Stupid Tech Support — mickey @ 1:56 pm

I was on vacation and didn’t have access to wi-fi or a landline. This meant my only option to get online was to use my cell phone as a modem.

I had purchased Verizon’s rip-off “music kit” a while back. Basically a USB cable to connect your phone to your PC, and a CD that tries to convert your MP3s to some other format since the phone can’t play normal MP3 files (stuuuuupid). The good news is that this meant I had the cable I needed to be able to use the phone as a modem and wouldn’t have to pay $50 more for that kit.

So, I called Verizon, the guy walked me through configuring Windows dial-up networking to connect and it wouldn’t work. We were roaming at the time, and chalked it up to that.

A few weeks later we were up in Tennessee for the weekend. Again, there’s no wi-fi nearby. However, I have good cell reception so I figured I’d try the Verizon thing again. It’s about $60/month, but I’ll just cancel after the weekend anyhow.

So, I call Verizon and simply ask them to enable that feature for me, since I already have the phone connected and Windows configured. “Uh, we can’t do that”. “You need to buy a special card for your computer”. I insisted that I didn’t, but he insisted that I did. I said something like “I just need the $60/month plan so I can use my phone as a modem”. Nope. I asked for a supervisor and was offered technical support. Ok.

The tech support guy comes on and says “So you want the $59.99/month plan so you can use your phone as a modem? No problem”. Strange, considering what the last guy had said, but good.

However, he told me I’d have to go online and download their fancy connection manager software. (note: I couldn’t GET online – that’s the whole problem!) I explained that I didn’t want to buy it, and I’ll simply use Windows dial-up networking instead. He was quite adamant that it wouldn’t work without their fancy software, but I was quite adamant that he just turn the stupid thing on.

He did and I fired it up. No dice. I asked if there was someone I could talk to about it. “Nope”. “How about tomorrow?”, I replied. “Nope. No one here can help you with that.”. He insisted that no one anywhere at Verizon could help me with this kind of set-up. I told him I wished I had the name of the guy from last weekend, as he was quite helpful.

I hung up with him and then tried again. I guess it just took a minute for the update to go into affect on my account, because it worked and was a great solution for the rest of the weekend.

June 17, 2007

I need a new hard drive in my monitor?

Filed under: Hardware — mickey @ 7:54 pm

I bought a Compaq latop about three years ago and it’s been great. It’s been on a half-dozen youth retreats as well as various trips to south Georgia, Kentucky, Florida and Michigan, and it’s held up very well. About a month ago the screen went dark. You could still faintly see the text on there, but the backlight was shot. I did some research and determined that it was likely the inverter board that died. I pulled the laptop apart and got the inverter board out so I could order a new one. It didn’t have any info on it that would help, so I decided to call Compaq. Here are parts of that conversation:

Me: My screen has gone dark and I suspect it’s the inverter board. How can I order a new one?
Him: You mean the motherboard.
Me: No. I mean the inverter board.
Him: Oh. The inverter board? Let me talk to my technical supervisor. I”ll be right back.

Him: My supervisor says it might not be the inverter board.
Me: Ok, great. What else might it be? (I was excited, though doubtful that it could be something else)
Him: Well, it could be the USB cable for your floppy drive.
Me: What? That makes no sense, not to mention I don’t have a floppy drive.
Him: Or maybe it’s the hard drive in your monitor.

Now I had to stop and think. Did he really say that?

Me: Did you say the “hard drive in my monitor”?
Him: Yes, the hard drive in your monitor might be bad.

At this point, I let him have it. I’m not an expert on inverter boards, but I know when I’m dealing with a complete moron. I asked for the technical supervisor. The conversation pretty much consisted of me asking for an inverter board and her telling me that they don’t exist and/or I can’t order one. Telling her that I was holding it in my hand didn’t help convince her that it was a real part.

So, I got her supervisor. He simply said he’d transfer me to their parts department and I could order it there.

Sometime during the transfer I got disconnected. I found one on eBay instead. It showed up a few days later and solved the problem.

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